![]() Like most NHS junior doctors I was offered the usual ‘chocolate box’ of false ideals about being a Doctor. Specifically, what it could allow and what it couldn’t.Īnd it was that growing awareness of my body and its absolute honesty that proved my saving grace – leading me lovingly and with language of its own, to a place of actual Truth I had not yet considered or experienced. Yet at each juncture or rung of the ladder I climbed to reach the metaphorical ‘top’, there was a level of awareness being offered to me – about my body. Even with ‘time-out’ breaks working in pharmaceutical research, my searchings left me exhausted and cynical, feeling like yet another burnt-out, ‘morally injured’ doctor. The learning curve was pretty steep and the 20+ years of medical training grindingly militaristic for the most part. Initially an outward seeking of truth in knowledge (encouraged by my academic parents), then of truth in humanity (the roller-coaster of emotional connection to my patients) and finally, an inward seeking of Truth in myself and the communications of my own body. No, my choice to study medicine and then Radiology, was ultimately one made in the pursuit of Truth. ![]() No healing talk was ever truly walked in our house.Īnd yet with my child’s eyes I could clearly see that most of humanity was very sick and needed medical help – if only to allow function in this world. None of it translated into a feeling of joy, love, harmony or even health in our home. I saw up close, as a child, how the Medical system subsumed their every waking moment, wreaking insidious havoc upon their lives and bodies, binding them to false beliefs and ideals about what it is to ‘be’ a Doctor. Initially, there was a stubborn reluctance to follow in my parent’s medical footsteps. While it would be nice to pretend otherwise, I did not embark on a career in medicine for altruistic reasons, to earn a good wage or even to gain social respect.
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